More About Us...Way More

My wife and I decided to begin our journey down the birth canal early in the year. We quit smoking and started taking folic acid. We also started tracking my wife's cycle religiously. By the first day of my wife's last period I knew exactly what I needed to do and exactly when to do it. I guess all of the 5 W's apply (who to do, what to do, where, when and why).

My wife is a researcher by profession and tracking results is a favourite past time for her. We measured basal temperature every morning before she woke up. I would roll over, grab the thermometer and say grumble 'basal'. She would then automatically open her mouth to begin her day. Another method is the pee test which looks incredibly like a pregnancy test but are more expensive. If you had entered our home while we were measuring hormone levels in her urine you would have thought we both suffered from an obsessive compulsive disorder and were compelled to do a home pregnancy test every second day.

Now this is where I begin to share too much. We also learned that another ovulation predictor is a saliva test. You need to spit on a small re-usable microscope and as it dries the hormones will crystallize. Well we own our own microscope so before the end of the day it was set up and we were testing her saliva. All results were meticulously recorded and the microscope slides were saved.

After all of this research we were sure that my wife was fertile and we could predict ovulation within a matter of hours. Problem was that it was now March and we were not yet pregnant. Could the problem be me? Could my little soldiers refuse to march? It was a frightening thought and I was dying to know the answer. So I pulled out a fresh slide and used the microscope myself. I was so happy to see what I saw. I called my wife over and she excitedly said "Look at them. They look frantic. Oh my gosh, they are all looking for me!!!"

The first day of her last period was March 22nd. Our due date is December 27th and Cletus the Fetus is now 15 weeks and 2 days old.

Looking back at this message I am reminded of the expression 'don't kiss and tell'. Now look at me.