Saturday, July 05, 2008

Things are starting to stress me

We are moving back to Canada in less than one month and we have just begun to pack. There is so much to do before we leave but I think I have that under control. My real stress is thinking about what will happen, or where we will be, after we return to Canada.

Our son is old enough, and has traveled enough with us, to be adaptable to anything we can throw at him. His needs are simple...dirt...sticks...insects and a little affection. You know what I mean. He is a normal little boy. But we have a baby on the way. We need to be ready. Maybe I am entering some kind of nesting stage but it is difficult to imagine how to build a little life for my little one when we don't even know which city we will live in.

I can't picture the house we will live in, the daycare our son will go to, the car we will drive in...anything. I don't know the sex of Maragaritas the fetus. I don't know anything and it is driving me nuts.

Especially daycare. Knowing that the waiting list for daycares are over a year long and without knowing which city we will be in I can't even begin to put them on waiting lists Without knowing if my wife will have a job somewhere I can't even think about when we will need daycare, or for how long we will need daycare.

Our first pregnancy was stressful because it was our first pregnancy. The fear of the unknown was real and relevant, but now I know. I am much more comfortable with the whole process and spend much less time reading about everything. But I have a new set of fears that are all a different, but strikingly similar. Again, the fear of the unknown is real and relevant, but that which is unknown is new, and there is nowhere on the internet where I can find the answers to my new questions.

I wonder if our third pregnancy will be free from stress. If I understand the process, and we have laid down roots somewhere, and have our support structure in place, will there be something new for me to stress about or will i be able to enjoy the entire process?


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